


Halloween preparations

by ClaireScott



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, Established Relationship, Halloween, M/M, Nurses, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 06:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireScott/pseuds/ClaireScott
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5-0 is busy with preparations for Halloween. Kono is very creepy, Steve is giddy and Danny... is the one who suffers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The one where Kono is a zombie nurse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaige68](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaige68/gifts).



> Written for the Early Halloween Party Weekend Challenge on 1 Million words AND for Kaiges birthday, of course!
> 
> The prompts Morticia gave me are: Nurse, popcorn balls and toilet paper tree. 
> 
> Beta-reading done as always by the fantastic [ThatwasJustaDream](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/profile). Thanks a lot!

_DUS,_

_Danno’s ill. Maybe the flu. But the men’s version, he says, which I guess is worse? If you order pizza for dinner, please choose a ham & pineapple for me. Don’t order for Danno. He will die before 5 p.m. b/c he has this irritating cough, two times in at least five hours. He’s terribly ill, really. And I mean really, got me? His chances of recovery decreased considerably b/c you forgot to DVR any baseball game (Los Angeles Coughers vs. Boston Red Nose maybe? Or something like that). So, if you dare to go into the bedroom, be prepared. But I wouldn’t if I were you. _  
_If Danno bites your head off, it was really nice to know you. I’m with Macy at the gym. Will be home at 7, as always._  
 _Love and kisses,_  
 _Grace_

Steve stares on the letter lying on the kitchen table. DUS? What the hell, he thinks… but then Steve gets it: Dear Uncle Steve. Very sweet, indeed. He sighs as he puts the heaps of dirty laundry he’s come home to all over the house into a clothes basket. 

He’d guessed Danny was coming down with something – he hadn’t sounded well as they talked the day before on the phone. He only went away for four days, and everything is fucked up. 

He furrows his brows as he hears a knock on the door. First things first, he thinks and goes to open it.

“Kono! Wow, you’re looking… I don’t know… very undead and very much like a… nurse? Especially considering… you’re a cop. You are still a cop, aren’t you? Or did you resign in the last four days?”

“No worries, I’m still a cop. I just wanted to hear Grace’s and Danny’s opinion about my Halloween costume.”

“Grace is at the gym. Danny’s ill. You do know we’re still in July?” 

“I know. I’m starting my preparations very early this year. A zombie nurse takes some work. I have to practice rotten eggs clysters, and graduate from a “brain surgery for beginners” course with Max.”

“Rotten eggs clysters?”

“Yes. Can you imagine anything more creepy? 

“No. Do they help when you have a cold?”

“Of course. Want one?”

“Thank you, but no. Danno, maybe. He’s got the flu. Men’s version.” Steve grins and invites the zombie nurse to come in.

Kono’s laughing and a few minutes later she’s knocking at the bedroom door.

“Come in. But be warned: You’ll see a bad tempered, unsatisfied baseball fan on his deathbed.”

Kono opens the door and sees Danny lying on the bed, cross-armed, looking a little bit defiant. He gives her a very skeptical look and she starts singing: _“I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to…”_

“Forget it, zombie nurse. I’m dying, okay, I’m not only taking a day off! And I’m only fucking Steve by the way. You can tell him he’s so fucked up, because…”

“But he asked me to give you a rotten egg clyster.”

“A what?” Danny sits up, looking fairly alarmed.

“A rotten egg clyster. It’s practice for Halloween.”

“Yeah, I get that. Did anyone tell you that it’s July?” 

“Steve already did, yeah.”

“Fine. Very nice costume, Kono. I like it. Looks really good. Do you offer brain surgery too?”

“Of course. I’m a zombie nurse. I can do that blindfolded.”

“Great. Could you please try to improve Steve’s capacity for remembering? He forgot to DVR the baseball game last week AND apparently needs reminding that he needs to come in and kiss me BEFORE HE SICKS A SEXUALLY STARVED AND TOTALLY PERVERTED ZOMBIE NURSE ON ME!”

“Okay, okay, stop screaming, I get it…” Steve’s calling from the hallway. “I’ll order pizza now. Kono, wanna join us?”

“Yeah, of course, thank you. Brain surgery makes me hungry every time.”

“So, Greek pizza for you, Kono?”

“No. I hate Greek pizza, Steve. I’ll have one with red pepper, bacon and egg, please.”

“Rotten egg?”

“Do you really have to ask, Commander?”

“Danno? Ham and pineapple for you?” They hear Steve walking downstairs. Danny gives Kono a thoughtful look and gets up from the bed. 

“We’re not waiting for Halloween. Do you have your scalpel with you, zombie nurse?”


	2. The one where Steve's trying to get many kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is giddy. So damn giddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-reading done as always by the fantastic [ThatwasJustaDream](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/profile). Thanks a lot!

“What treat do you like most at Halloween, Danno?“

“Uh, I think… popcorn balls, monkey.”

“Really?”

Danny nods and Grace’s fingers start flying hastily over the keyboard of her laptop. 

“What are you doing, monkey?”

“I’m buying a car, what does it look like I’m doing?” Grace gives Danny a grin and goes on: “I’m searching for a recipe for popcorn balls. I’ll make a… a… mountain of popcorn balls for you, Danno.”

“Diamond Head size?”

“Bigger. I’ll try.”

“Sounds great, monkey. Thank you. If you make me popcorn balls I’ll give you a kiss for every piece of popcorn you used. Deal?”

“Deal, Danno.”

“What does that grin on your face mean, Steve?”

“Uh… nothing… I just thought of… nothing, nothing.”

 

Hours later Danny’s nearly asleep as Steve starts caressing his chest, snuggling very close, kissing every inch of Danny’s face. 

“Uh, Super-SEAL. I’m sleeping.”

“No, you’re not. You’re talking.”

“Turn off the light and let me sleep. Please.”

“No, Danno. I’ve got something. Close your eyes, okay?”

“That’s what I always do when I want to sleep, babe.”

“No sleeping, Danno! Promise to keep your eyes closed, whatever happens.”

“Okay. Wake me when you’re ready, I’ll nap meanwhile.”

“Don’t you dare!”

Danny sighs, closing his eyes.

“Stay. Like this. Eyes closed. I’ll be right back…”

Danny’s so tired he’s almost asleep again as he feels Steve’s weight on the mattress. 

“I’m back, babe. Keep your eyes closed…”

“Mhm…”

“On your back, Danno. Pants off.” 

Danny obliges. Maybe he can sleep a little bit faster if he cooperates. He hears a sizzling noise, feels Steve’s hands on his body. Steve chuckles and Danny feels something scratchy between his legs. Again and again. Steve’s having lots of fun, Danny thinks. He’s laughing and is really enjoying himself. 

“What the fuck!” Danny loses his patience. “What the hell are you doing, McGarrett?”

“A very special Halloween thing, Danno. I think it would be a huge success at any Halloween party. It’s ‘trick’ and ‘treat’ at the same time. Open your eyes, Danno.”

Danny does and takes a look downward at his body. 

“You’re so sick. So incredibly sick. I hate you, I hate you so much!” Danny rants and bitches, looking down at his balls, hidden under a little popcorn hill.

“Why?” Steve grins. “These are the very best popcorn balls I’ve ever seen… And I’m getting a kiss for every piece of popcorn I used…”


	3. The one with the light-armed zombies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kono's preparation goes well. Danny is a little bit... concerned. Steve - on the other side - wants more popcorn. And more sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-reading done as always by the fantastic [ThatwasJustaDream](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/profile). Thanks a lot!

“Steve?“ Danny yells. “STEVE!“

“In the kitchen!”

“Come here! Fast! Bring a weapon with you. Baseball bat, your SIG, whatever!”

Steve runs into the living room. “What?”

“Look out there!” Danny points to the window and Steve takes a careful, short look. He doesn’t want to get shot. 

“What the hell?”

“Three zombie nurses decorating your trees with toilet paper. In July.”

“ _Our_ trees. And it’s August. Ever since this morning.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. Smartass. Is this all you have to say about three zombie nurses ‘tricking’ us in AUGUST?”

“It’s Kono, Cath and… who’s the third nurse? The blonde one? In this mini-skirt? With the fake boobs?”

Danny takes a look, watching carefully. He squints his eyes. He knows this nurse. She wears a wig and is standing back to him. Those legs, those shoes… this is… he knows those shoes.

“Oh, my god…” Danny whispers.

“Yeah.”

“It’s Chin.”

“Chin? In a mini-skirt, blond wig and fake boobs?” Steve’s nodding, wondering where he left the camera. “I can’t believe it. What did Kono do to him?”

“Blackmail. It’s the only possible answer. Chin would never…” Danny opens the door and steps out in the garden. Steve follows him. 

“Hey, guys! We’re celebrating my graduation of Max’s brain surgery course.” Kono shouts and waves enthusiastically with her hands. Cath and Chin are waving a little less enthusiastically but they’re waving. 

“Go in, Steve. Fast. Close all the doors. We’ve already lost Chin and Cath to this very talented brain surgeon formerly known as Officer Kalakaua. I won’t risk losing Grace and you.”

“Oh, come on, Danny! We hoped to see some… popcorn balls from you…” Kono’s grinning so dirty, like nothing Danny’s seen from her before.

“Steve. She wants my balls…”Danny sounds a little bit scared. 

“Go inside, Danno! Fast!” Steve shoves Danny in and shouts over his shoulder: “These balls are mine! This gorgeous ass is mine! No one except me is allowed to nibble at either!”

“Thank you so much, Steve, for broadcasting that. I’m thinking even the governor in his fucking palace heard it.”

“Oh, you’re welcome” Steve answers. “Want me to make some popcorn? For your… balls?”

“There are three zombie nurses in our garden and all you can think about is sex?”

“Yeah. They have only toilet paper. While we’re waiting for them to get real weapons we could have a little bit fun. It may be our last time before the zombie apocalypse.”

“Okay. I’m convinced. But I have a suggestion: If this is only Kono’s Halloween _preparation_ , how about a trip away over Halloween? Maybe we could rent a house. In a deep forest in Norway, for example.”

“Do they have popcorn in Norway?”

“Of course.”

“Book it, Danno.”


End file.
